There he was again, listening to that infernal bloody music. Goldberg Variations again! Maddening, all that repetition.
She was banging about upstairs.
He turned the knob of the amplifier a little higher. He leaned back in his brown leather recliner to enjoy in full the glories of his favourite composer, appreciating his expensive audio equipment, those splendid Wharfedale speakers, the woofers and tweeters.
Her suitcase bumped down the stairs unheard. The latch softly clicked, the boot thudded and the car accelerated through its gears as she sped away.
6 responses to “Experiment in Flash Fiction, comments welcomed”
Neat. Intriguing, and comprehensible.
Right, so 55 words can deliver narrative, and a few details from which the reader can imagine something of the characters and setting: but at this compression, characters are pretty much reduced to stereotypes – selfish husband/neglected wife (or cultured husband/shallow wife, if you prefer). No time for writerly subtleties. Good exercise though in advancing narrative in the fewest words.
This one is 90 words, but I do have 2 under 50.
See this grim kitchen. Dust on grease grows like rat fur. Dirty dishes lie in slimed water. Megan was houseproud. The state of this room would have killed her. But something else already had. The body slumped at the sink is as a yet undiscovered.
Am doing flash fiction with my Year 9 high flying GCSE exam group at the moment, just to get them to reduce the actual plot line to a minimum, so that they can go back and add other embellishments. Like most Year 9s they tend to overwrite.
Could I use these as examples (duly credited of course) to show them how it can be done?
If you’d rather I didn’t I will understand.
These seem really good. I only recently heard for the first time about flash fiction. Is there a website somewhere??
Sue, I’d be delighted. I do have a couple of others as well if you are interested.
This is an excellent teaching ploy. I used to use mini-sagas in much the same way.
You might be interested to know, as a teacher, that I have a children’s poetry book coming out soon with Salt publishing, called The New Generation.
Let me know how the lessons go. Timelines and cartoon strips can also work quite well.